Are You Practising Self Love or Self Neglect?

I've gotten into some rubbish habits lately. The worse being the comfort I've found in scrolling through social media. Laid on my bed scrolling through the instagram explore page for what only feels like 10 minutes, when in reality I've been sat motionless for around an hour. It's so easy to just fall into the social media trance. It's much easier to then justify it as 'relaxation'.

I was thinking the other day how lucky we are to live in a world that is becoming more and more accepting of self love. The concept is everywhere. On instagram, in shops and slathered across every beauty campaign. Love yourself. Practice self love. SELF LOVE OR DIE. And I'm not saying that this isn't a beautiful thing but my lazy self is taking full advantage of it. I am now the ruler of self love and what I say goes.

This is where the whole movement crumbles for me. I have become the queen of self love. You want to sleep in every morning? Do it it's self love. Don't want to go to the gym? Don't, love yourself instead. Cba to do the things that make you happy? Ah well, they obviously aren't self love tasks so sit on your phone instead. I am justifying every boring shitty lazy decision I make by labelling it self love. I actually really want to wake up early, and go to the gym and I really wanna do the things I love. But I'm letting myself off doing these things under the guise of loving myself.

You know what? Me not looking after my body, mind and god damn soul is not self love. It's self sabotage and self neglect. I'm neglecting what my whole being is yearning for because I have this lazy side, which at the moment I'm letting win. I'm letting my lazy side win all the arguments. Not just every couple of days or once a week. I'm not just allowing myself one lazy Sunday where I can stare  into my phone screen or rewatch Pretty little Liars again (I don't even like it that much??). I need to start being little harder on myself.

Now this is where the line between self love and self hatred needs to be drawn. Me being harder on myself cannot come from a place of anger and hatred of how I am now. It needs to instead be a labour of love, I need to want to better myself because of the love I already hold for myself. Exercising to change my body doesn't need to be because I hate how I look. Instead I need to acknowledge I feel more confident when I fit my clothes better and I don't feel so sluggish. We don't need to condemn acts of change as anti-self love. That's part of the problem. When it comes to the gym, especially, I have been telling myself I don't need to go because I should love myself as I am. But the thing is, I know that exercising makes me happy so in not pushing myself to do It I am them depriving myself of that happiness. Which isn't fair on myself, is it.

Now Self Love (take a shot every time I say self love) is not a cookie cutter concept. It comes in different forms for everyone. Sure most people enjoy a warm bath or face masks but when it becomes deeper and more personal it becomes less generic. For me I know my true acts of self care are keeping busy and consistent whether that be with the gym, my blog or skincare. I find happiness in progress therefore for me consistency is key. However It's also hard work. It's much easier not to do it, but this then means that in the end I will never achieve my goals. For you it may be something completely different, in fact your self love might actually be to chill the hell out more. You workaholics need breaks, maybe you do relate to the want of a hot bath or a pamper day more than exercise and pushing yourselves. You are already pushing yourselves. It's a worldwide social movement but It is still so personal and customisable to the individual.

All in all I think It's about balance. You know yourself better than anyone and you know what your body and mind need in order to flourish. In order to get the most out of life you need to find that work/play (relax) balance. Maybe the scales tip from time to time. For example if you have exams or work deadlines you might have to focus on the active self love, the side of you that pushes to get shit done. Then again if you've been going through it you need to accommodate that too, have a day off and go to a spa or something, buy yourself a yankee candle and inhale that extortionately priced scent. Life is short and you don't want to waste it, but you also need to enjoy it. So find your lil happy place and live in that shit.

Thanks,
Em x